Letters to My Daughter, March 2017

Hi potato,

Parent-teacher conference is this month. This time, I decided to sign up for individual meetings with your teachers.

I arrived five minutes late from my first meeting with your social science teacher. I was gasping for breath and feeling too warm after climbing five flights of stairs.

I was trying to find my way when I was face-to-face with a "kid" in a tie, who quickly asked me, "Jocelyn's mom?"

Ah, this must be Mr. C.

I sat down and listened to him talking very highly about you and sharing suggestions. Then I moved on to the next meeting with your Math and Science teacher, then your Computer Science teacher, and finally the ELA teacher.

It is no secret that I always humiliate myself in these meetings. That is because I always end up crying. To me, you are an amazing daughter and a human being. But hearing this from your teachers really turned me into a mellow marshmallow.

I learned a great deal from these meetings. And you did too. Ms. L put you in certain groups in ELA class because you are focused and determined. She knows that she can count on you to help your friends stay on track. (Hello, assistant teacher!)

You and A are paired with K and G in math. It is not because you and A are first in the Coca-Cola project and they are second. The four of you are strong in math, but you and A are quiet, while K and G are more active. Being on the same team can help you learn from each other.

We learned that advancing your leadership skills will help you excel and stand out from the crowd.

My dear potato, you still have a long journey ahead of you. I believe you will get far. I believe in you. And I will try to be there for as long as I can, to celebrate with you, to pat you on the back and to cheer you on, but also to give hugs when you need ones.

In closing, I'd like to share this short poem with you.

Promise me you'll always remember
you're braver than you believe
stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think
-winnie the pooh

I love you po-tah-to.
From to-mah-to

Letters to My Daughter, February 2017

y kimchi,

February felt weird.

After spending almost the whole month of January waking up at 5:30 am every Saturday and hopping from one admission test to another, we spent February at a much quieter pace.

We stayed home during a snow storm. We woke up late on weekends, stayed in our pajamas, made brunch, baked, and stuffed our mouth with those delicacies while getting our eyes red in front of TV.

It was pretty quiet, but I, for sure, was pretty anxious too. Because of two of the test results would come out (BSGE and The Anderson).

And you made it! To the next round!

I believe you realized that things started to get real for you this year. And what I meant by that is that participating in these admission tests, you learned about what it is like to compete, to stay focus, to keep motivating yourself, and to manage your time.

But also, you learned about the sweet and sour taste of life - when you made it and when you had to try harder.

What I am most proud of is that how dealt with all these. I know for certain that all these processes were emotionally and physically overwhelming, but you faced them with so much calmness, determination, and focus.

Yes, you struggled about getting up at 5:30 AM and dragged yourself to get out of bed. But nothing more! You even offered comforting words to your friends.

I offered that you did not have to take the admission test for a leadership program, but you said you would like to try. I admire you for continuing to challenge yourself and setting a high standard for yourself.

You thank me. I don't know what for. Because the truth is, you do all this by yourself. It's all you!

To the next round!
Bun-bun

Letters to My Daughter, January 2017

My dear kewpie,

Happy New Year and I'd like to start by saying I am deeply sorry.

I am deeply, terribly sorry that instead of honoring the long hours and efforts you have put into Hunter test, I undervalued all of these with my poor choice of words and behavior.

I know for a fact that you worked really hard and put much concerted efforts and time into the whole process and on the testing day. And it is very wrong and selfish of me to belittle those and to behave the way I did. You did not disappoint me. I disappointed you.

I let my feeling and what I want overcloud my thinking and I felt terrible about what I have said, how I have reacted, and how I have treated you. You have every right to hate me. (But please don't.)

Please do know that whatever the outcome is, you are an incredible person! I want you to know and remember that a result of a test will not and should not determine who you are. Do not a test result define you. Because you are more than that! And because you are a person capable of great things! I know that and I believe that. You are cut out for much bigger things in life.

I will not forget the day we took that subway train after the test. You mentioned that there are four things you actually learned from this whole Hunter test. I asked what are those. To this day, your answers mesmerized me.

  1. Time management. You realized that you need to work on your time management skill in order to accomplish a task.
  2. Make sacrifice and prioritize. In your words, "I usually cook or bake every weekend, but since I started the test prep classes, I had to stop. But it's OK, because I was preparing to get into a good school."
  3. There is a process to get to a point, such as test prep classes, filling out forms and admission tests before the actual decision. 
  4. Practice makes perfect. Read the essay you first attempted to write. Then, read the last essay you wrote. I am sure it will put a smile on your face. 

No matter what the outcome is, I love you and I will never, ever judge you.
Continue to pursue what you believe in and what you are passionate about.
I will watch you conquer the world!

Love you, my kewpie.
Bun-bun